polaroidic

it's been a while since I posted on here… I really wanted to post a lot this year, but life got in the way and I didn't really know what to talk about. it's now the month of june, and I've been in my passport TN for a while now. I figured out some time ago that… this isn't what I want to journal in forever. So this is my techo kaigi!

1. traveler's notebook passport size
   USES
   
   • monthly calendar for events, birthdays, happenings
   • grid note (1) for yearly collections
   • grid note (2) for bullet journalling
   • weekly for food - discontinuted
   REVIEW:
   • Size is not conducive for journalling ime/imo. I don't journal well when I feel constraints
   • Drawing my own layouts is kinda hell and caused me to fall off for a few weeks at a time. I wonder why I insisted on a bullet journal when I quit my bullet journal back in 2017? Maybe it was because the layout this time is simpler. Now I know that after a second chance - drawing layouts and thus, bullet journalling isn't for me.
   • Size is actually gorgeous for portability. Customising the outside is also quite fun - I loved filling my zipper insert with ephemera and pasting stickers on each insert cover!
   • Speaking of stickers, the I love the tn stickers. So functional and beautiful at the same time, and not too cute. I found out the magic fo transfer stickers!
   ACTION:
   • Persevere for the next months until November I guess… I don’t want to spend more money on planners when I'm saving for something else.
   • for next year, use a hobonichi HON for personal stuff, and maybe repurpose this TN into a sketchbook
2. something new… hobonichi A5 dayfree
   USES
   
   • monthly calendar for comebacks, birthdays and anniversaries
   • generally for stanning stuff
   REVIEW:
   • It hasn't been long since I got this, but I'm enjoying the low pressure when it comes to adding entries
   • However the low pressure is a bit detrimental as I feel that I'm not making enough entries… this is a discipline problem though, and not a problem of the planner, I think!
   ACTION:
   • No problems so far! Maybe arrange a time each week to make entries. For me this is Friday!
   • At this point in time, I want to continue making a stan journal in 2026! Hopefully I still have stannie feelings.

1. linton vacances a5 zip cover: for storing stickers and carrying my planner around for journalling sessions
2. hobonichi stencil ruler: to make journalling faster also it's cute
3. alettone a5 cover: for my stan journal! I can stick a postcard in front

1. to travel, get out of the mall
   
   • like... touch grass. go outside. get nature and sunlight and fresh air. it never dawned on me until now that malls don't have windows and are mostly artificially lit - spending upwards of 5 hours in a row in one is a bit hellish.
2. utilise grab as much as you can!!
   
   • in a sense that... you can go anywhere you want. you are ABLE to. take in the sights and go where you thought was too inconvenient to walk to.
3. create an itinerary!
   • i feel like my brain shoots blanks whenever i wake up in the morning during my vacations. i'm constantly bogged down by decision paralysis, where if i can't decide what to do, then i'll spend all my time thinking about what to do without actually doing anything. an actual concrete plan would help with that.
4. visit museums and cultural sites
   • this might be self-explanatory.
5. read books during the flight and while waiting in the airport
   • again, maybe self-explanatory. my main reason for this is because it lowers mobile data spending.
6. online check-in!!
   • i didn't get to do an online check-in for my departure flight, and ended up with seats at the emergency exit door. minor inconvenience but i had to store my bag in the overhead compartment - not ideal for me as i need my eyes on my things at all times.
7. wear comfy shoes and get comfier backups
   • i planned on wearing one pair and bringing an extra pair but i didn't get to because i didn't have space in my luggage. this was a bad decision because the shoes i wore turned out to be extremely uncomfortable after a few hours of walking. it genuinely ruined my motivation to do touristy things. i ended up buying some shoes.
8. don't buy 13 panties
   • "who would by 13 panties?" me. i bought 13 panties. i didn't even realise the number until i counted at home. but yeah don't fixate on buying a certain thing
9. take pictures of anything
   • this feels like a given but i realised i didn't take many pictures during my trip except for like... pictures of food, even though i brought my instax. take pics of other memories too - even the little ugly ones.
10. bring glue for journalling
    
    • this one is just a personal reminder. i couldn't journal much because i couldn't stick my ephemera in.

i don't know if it's the weather or the dreary air at work (must be the ammonia?), but i'm itching to buy a bag, or several. maybe a more lowkey handbag to bring to work, maybe a tote bag for work, maybe a shoulder bag for going out, maybe a bigger tote for when i need to carry a lot to go out. despite all i want, one thing is for certain: i don't have enough money to finance a bag, so i'm going to just fantasise about all the bags i could have. just when i thought my bag phase ended... sorry if my writing is wack here, i just want to finish this post fast lol

1. CHYLAK shell bag
   i've admired this bag ever since i started obsessing over bags. i love the sharp structure - which i rarely found in other bags. i find the best texture to be either the black or brown lizard: strong and edgy to contrast with the feminine floral shape. it's just so elegant! it's a statement piece! surely i can become the best dressed person in the room with this.
2. YUZEFI mochi
   despite not wanting to follow everyone else, these days I find myself drawn to the very trendy longer shoulder bag silhouette, a la the Coach Swing Zip, Marge Sherwood and the Standoil Chubby Bag. of course i don't want to just lust over a bag everyone else is lusting over!!! that brings me to the yuzefi mochi. at first I wasn't that interested in yuzefi's bags, but the more I saw people wearing them on social media, the prettier they looked! unlike the hereu bombon I mentioned somewhere in this post, it may look better in real life! every time i consider a bag, the capacity is one of the most important points, and the mochi looks more than adequate.
3. SONGMONT medium song bag & osmanthus flower keychain
   this bag was a strong contender for my first big girl bag, losing to a coach ruby 25. my main reasons for not choosing it were because it didn't have a secure closure, and it didn't come in a dark chocolate colour. as you can see, the first is no longer relevant, and the second is now solved. i'm seriously considering this as my next bag, along with the osmanthus keychain.
4. TOCCO TOSCANO blair mini duffel
   i only want this if i 100% can't ever get a loewe amazona (my grail bag). with that said, i really want it. it's super gorgeous and professional looking, with amazing structure, storage, and leather. it has feet for fucks sake! it's like, 1/10th the price of an amazona.
5. HEREU calella tote & bombon
   

   truthfully i've always wanted a bag from hereu. i considered getting a Bombon as my first bag, but decided against it when Ii realised it didn't meet my bag requirements at the time (obvious yellow hardware, feet, big enough, etc). however i still adore how it looks, and love the brand aesthetic - very warm yet sophisticated. the calella has a standout structure and look which reminds me of flower petals, accentuated by the contrast trim. it's been a while since i first looked at this bag and i'm still in love. i could fit a lot in this bag.

   the bombon on the other hand, hasn't held my love as well as the calella. it's pretty, don't get me wrong, but pictures of it in action in real life make the bag look sloppier than i would like. in spite of this, i do think the braided handle is gorgeous, especially when contrasted with a shearling body. i wouldn't be against being gifted this bag hehe

all fandoms in this text will be referred to with letters. this post won't be hard to decipher since i'm pretty much an open book with my interests online (thanks, whatever birth chart placements that made me like this)

i've recently made a separate, public account on twitter with three purposes:

1. to gush and scream about Z
2. to talk about Z with other people
3. to share my Z fanart

on #1 honestly easier said than done, but has the most progress out of the three. i find it harder to be excited and unabashed on a public account where literally anyone could see (and like, and reply, and retweet, and quote) my incoherent insanity. it's a cruel cycle where i'm afraid to be misconstrued -> my words become stiff and my tweets sound weird -> i get misconstrued because talk weird. it doesn't help that i'm like, deathly anxious of interacting with people and being perceived. it also doesn't help that i actually want to interact with people and have fun in spite of my anxieties. every time i say something i feel like an idiot for being perceived. every time i try to say something my brain gets all tangled up. i've had two tweets that blew up a little but… i'm not exactly proud of that

since B.A.P came back i started buying albums again. the last album i got from them was ROSE back in 2017 - i didn't buy BLUE because i really didn't like honeymoon at the time (i've since warmed up to it, as much as I don't want to admit), and i didn't buy EGO because admittedly i didn't recover from how much honeymoon disappointed me. i was (and kinda still am) a harsh/critical fan who would refuse to pay either money or attention to a release/album/single/music video/material that wasn't to my liking, so i'm glad i ended up liking Curtain Call as much as i did because i really wanted to support them this time.

back when they were under ts, i was still a broke middle/high schooler, so i only bought the albums that were stocked at retailers. for most of B.A.P's korean discography this didn't matter that much as they weren't the type to release a gazillion versions of each album, but for their japanese discography it meant that I would have to settle for the version that the retailer stocked instead of the version that contained the content i wanted. however!!!!!! it's 2024 and i'm (kinda) a working adult so i preordered most of my curtain call haul from kr sites… mostly because i wanted to get on the photocard train. i also promised myself that i would buy at least one of each version (however many versions there are), or at least 5 copies (one for each member) so in total i ended up with 6 copies, chronologically:

• 3 copies from dearmymuse: best, absolute, perfect versions
• 1 copy from interasia: random, turned out to be best version
• 1 copy, preordered through a retailer: PLVE version
• 1 copy from ktown4u, bought through retailer: perfect version

this is my first time pre-ordering albums from the kr websites, so i'd like to write about my experience as someone who's buying albums for the first time in 7 years!

1. Best, Absolute & Perfect versions
   STORE: dearmymuse, preorder
   POB: baby on my mind - dh, yj, ju
   RATINGS: POBs 4/5, shipping 2/5
   
   • ok when i was deciding which store to pre-order from, i was in a bit of a panic - all the other stores had some kind of fancall/fanmeet lottery thing going on and I was desperately avoiding that, and dearmymuse happened to be the one that was the most obvious to my non-korean reading eyes to not have the fancall/fanmeet lottery. the other reason was that i had a chance of getting a signed polaroid if I pre-ordered from here. as a polaroid lover, it would be pretty cute to have regardless of member. the previews for the pocas ended up very cute as well!!! the cards had copies of the members' handwriting on the opposite side and i'm a freak for yj's handwriting so it seemed like a perfect match.
   • …until it wasn't. 08/08 came and DMM hadn't sent me a shipping notification. then i read that they might ship 10 days after release date. so i waited 10 days. a day or so after the wait, i sent an email to DMM. by this time, my interasia and PLVE orders have arrived at my doorstep. DMM finally shipped off my order 21 days after the release date.
   • now!!!!! there was something else that made me mad aside from the late shipping. the POBs were nice and cute, and i didn't get a polaroid which was eh, fine, only 4 were sent out so whatever, but i didn't get ANY of the limited holographic unit pocas, even though i preordered three albums on day 1. absolute insanity in my opinion? then it clicked: i saw my order status was "before shipment" right up until after 10 days - they didn't even prepare my albums right up until after 3000 of the limited unit pocas were already given away!!! dawg then what did I preorder for?? i didn't even get a single yongguk poca TT___TT the POBs were cute and my album pretty much arrived intact but i really wanted those unit pocas…
2. Best version (randomised)
   STORE: interasia, preorder POB: takoyaki - yj RATINGS: POBs 3/5, shipping 3/5
   
   • this one shipped the fastest and arrived first. i preordered this on day 1 and still didn't get a unit poca… there must be some kind of prioritisation for domestic shipping because all of the krn fans I saw got unit pocas. i was surprised that i got the yj POB - my luck has always been either jongup or daehyun. again, no qualms about the album condition or POBs (in fact, i'm pleasantly surprised by my luck) but the unit pocas…
3. PLVE ver
   STORE:PLVE, preorder through retailer
   POB: ju
   RATINGS:POB 2/5, shipping: 5/5
   
   • i didn't read the description properly and thought this was the size of a normal CD. imagine my surprise when i picked it up and it's a small, thin package the size of a poca. my copy was one of the misprint copies with JANGDAEHYUN instead of JUNGDAEHYUN. while PLVE did have a thing where they re-sent the corrected ones to those who filed a complaint, i decided not to do that because it would be a hassle to the retailer I bought it from. i didn't get the lenticular poca I wanted but hey, i don't really care much for this copy. jongup was gorgeous though
4. Perfect version
   STORE:Ktown4u, bought from retailer
   POB: selfie (yj)
   RATINGS: POB 4/5, shipping: 5/5
   
   • amazingly this was the only copy that i got that DID have a unit poca. and it's bangdae. sigh. it's amazing how the only copy in my possession to have a unit poca is the one i didn’t preorder. sigh. anyway, the reason i got this copy was because it has a a yj POB (the retailer posted it). and some people in a discord server enabled me.
   • re: unit poca, I'm guessing that k4u prepares shipments according to a order number since this copy has a unit poca… but their POBs are on the boring side (this one is literally just a selfie). anyway.

1. buy n copies from one store (where n = number of members, instead of n = number of versions). the album gods were graceful enough to not give me any duplicates but the only guarantee of no duplicates were if you bought 4 copies this time round.
2. for limited edition freebies (? The things that come with your album…) like the unit poca, buy from ktown4u or pre-order from the local retailer.
3. for pretty and/or interesting POBs, buy from dearmymuse.
4. brush up on korean maybe idk

truthfully t was tempted to buy an extra, not one, but twelve copies - one of the reasons why i praise dearmymuse despite their ass-quality delivery.

big long picture

bangjae unit poca… and hand-drawn keychains.

absolutely insane.

every 1 copy, you get a different unit poca.
every 4 copies, you get a hand-drawn keychain.
every 12 copies, you get [something]

absolutely insane.

i went crazy looking at youngjae's fucked up yellow square. is it a slice of cheese? is it spongebob? does he like squares? fuck i needed it so bad. the others weren't too bad either - lottery rates be damned.

but i didn't end up buying because the deadline was too soon.

when they come back and do another one of these shenanigans i'll definitely participate like the crazy person i am. dearmymuse i'm in your walls

i'm still waiting for my concert merch to arrive…

unfortunately in 2024, despite having a whole swanky setup, i've largely fallen out of my journalling hobby due to work and real life :( however, i'm not giving up all hope. next year i plan on using the TAKE A NOTE B6 weekly planner, which is smaller (= more portable) and has a lot less pages (about 70? blank grids instead of 365 like the hobonichi).

before i explain how i want to use my planner-to-be, i need to assess how i've been using (or idk, not using) my current lineup... i think i'll save the TAN plan for another post

USES: journalling, life tracking, schedules
REVIEW: haven't used it properly since may! my current lifestyle and job doesn't give me enough time to write in here, and i don't even need to schedule anything on weekdays since my work hours are the same. it's a shame since I spent so much time setting it up and decorating before the year started. ever since i started my first job, journalling has been low priority due to the lack of free time outside of work. even though i got a new job with a longer weekend, this situation hasn't improved, so I'm moving to a Take A Note B6 Planner next year.
ACTION: at the end of the year i'll fill out the to-do list at the back. when i set up my upcoming TAN i might take out some of the deco i've done and insert them into it. i don't plan on using the Cousin for the rest of the year - not until i get more free time maybe.

USES: money tracking, package tracking, EDC, purchase-related logs, travel journal
REVIEW: haven't been using this consistently since july? mostly due to the fact that i haven't been bringing this to work. the other reason might be that i'm avoiding looking at the amount i've spent the last few months (6 copies of the same album, a bunch of concert merch, a concert livestream, some jewellery, lots of drinks and food, upcoming clothes? jesus). anyway, i find myself caring less about how i'm spending - not sure if this is a cause or a consequence.
ACTION: damn girl idk. might repurpose this into a sketchbook. the travel journal idea is still appealing but i don't travel that much. i'm also thinking of replacing the thickass hightide insert i have with a thin muji one

FINAL THOUGHTS
i'm surprised at how not sad i am at not journalling that much anymore, even though it was a large part of my post-sixth form and uni life. there's a lot of other things that i want to spend my time on: this dreamwidth, making art (work in progress, lol), fitness, and going out to touch grass. i've been finding my cousin setup too big and unwieldy - ironic since that was what i enjoyed about it in the past. however, like i said at the beginning of this post, i'm not giving up on journalling or using a planner yet because my brain is too scattered without a planner to schedule my life - i made a to-do list on my notes app just to clean up my brain for dreamwidth shenanigans this weekend.
i hope my TAN arrives soon cause dawg